I have determined that indeed the two’s were not bad for us, but the three’s, well, let’s just say I may need a pay raise – HA!
I have resolved that positive reinforcement tends to work better in our house versus negotiating or threatening to take something away.
I have decided that V is a collector/hoarder of small objects.
I have concluded we need to “tame the toddler”.
Why
V loves little objects (not the best thing I might add for little T & his need to put EVERYTHING in his little mouth). She gathers, collects, sorts, & groups her little objects (hmmm…the reason she loves sensory bins so much).
With that in mind, through much brainstorming I have come up with our “dazzling deeds” jars!
A “dazzling deed” is something that is spectacular, I mean a super-duper spectacular behavior!
How
We have 6 small jars (4oz.), all with different little trinkets in each, and we have a large jar (20oz.) that the trinkets will accumulate in.
When she does one of the things, listed on the small jars (without asking, or nagging, or threatening, or negotiating), she gets one of those trinkets to add to her large jar.
I also don’t want to keep giving her rewards everyday, which will lessen the significance of filling up the jars. (I do believe in positive reinforcement, but I don’t want her to have too much positive reinforcement. For one, the real world is not like that, I don’t want to start her off like that, with a false perception, being rewarded for every little thing she does). I also decided to do little acknowledgements along the way to keep her interested. You’ll see on my large jar, three color coded markers. The first one says 1/4, when she reaches this point, 1/4 of the way up, she gets a piece of chocolate. The second one says 1/2, when she reaches this point, 1/2 of the way up, she gets a frozen yogurt date with daddy. The third one says 3/4, when she reaches this point, 3/4 of the way up, she gets to pick out a donut at the donut shop. And when she reaches the top, she can pick out 5 books, from my stock pile of books for her (mama hoarding ;) – I have a little addiction to buying used kids’ books).
Rewards
I gave the mini rewards a lot of thought. We are not much for sweets with the kiddos. They rarely get sweets, or desserts, etc., so this would be an extra special treat for her (increasing the interest & importance of the jars).
So, because this mama has a small book addiction, it’s only natural that her little miss has one, too! V would rather have a new book any day than a new toy! I do realize that this will probably change (I hope not) as time goes on and she finds other interests, but right now, books are where it is at with us! So, without a second thought, I determined that as the final reward (& 5 books at once – I can’t wait – I think I am more excited than her). I can just visualize her glee in picking out those 5 books!!!
I made these jars with general concepts (to be able to apply to more people & they can cater them individually {verbally} to what works in their household), for example; “play nice”:
- for us that means sharing our toys, no hitting, no snatching.
- for you, it could apply equally as no hitting the dog, no hitting mom & dad, no hitting in general, sharing with a sibling, no biting, etc.
Specifics
mini jar 1: play nice (orange butterfly) – when V shares with T, with no snatching stuff from him, & no hitting him – {heart buttons}
mini jar 2: dazzling deed (blue cat) – something spectacular: kind gesture, kind word, or a kind behavior – {star button}
mini jar 3: finish meal (lime fish) – when V finishes her plate without us begging or negotiating – {plastic gems}
mini jar 4: no fuss (teal elephant) – when V goes down for naps & bedtime without fuss – {colored jingle bells}
mini jar 5: be polite (purple rabbit) – saying please, thank you, & excuse me – {glitter pom-pom}
mini jar 6: clean up (red snail) – cleaning up her toys or mess – {flower button}
These are all things that we struggle with on a daily basis in our house. V gets a trinket to add to her jar if she does these things on her own. The first couple of days I had to give her nudges & encouraging words leaning her towards making the right decisions and the rewards that would take place, but today, we are on day 4 and she is almost 1/4 of the way up (& she is beyond excited for that piece of chocolate ;)
Now keep in mind, all of this, from the meaning behind each set of words, to the rewards, are all catered individually to what works in your household. Your child may not care the slightest bit about receiving 5 books as a final reward, so it needs to be adapted for your household & individual child in mind.
Printables
Oh, and last but not least – I made ya a free printable…eek! I {love} making printables! They make my heart go pitter patter! :)
I made the ones that we are using along with a second page of ones that may also work for your family – ENJOY!
I also designed these jars with learning in mind. Learning colors & animals (i.e. the colorful labels with animals :)
(note, when printing to fit labels, select Size Options: “fit” & “choose paper source by PDF page size”…see pic here for a visual)
Materials
Well, that’s it (I think!) Let me know if I left something out :)
What kind of things do you do in your house for positive reinforcement? I would love to hear your “taming the toddler” strategy!
INSPIRE OTHERS BY SHARING!!
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Jen says
Thanks for these ideas M! I wanted to find something to supplement our chore chart, and i think this is it! Very excited to try it out.
Melissa Klinker says
YAY!! Let me know how it works Jen – miss you!! xx
Nadia says
Thanks so much for suggesting that I read this post Melissa! I really think this could work for my 3year old! I’ll give it a try;)
Melissa Klinker says
YAY! Good to hear Nadia :)
Christy says
Love this Idea. I have a 4year old(soon to be 5), 20 month old and an 8 year old with adhd. We have tried marble jars and they get bored with it. I think this is a wonderful idea. Helps kids learn and more :) thanks for the great ideas I am going to try them!
mama♥miss says
Yay – I’m so glad Christy! It worked wonders for us :) Would love to hear how it worked – keep me updated :) Thanks again for checking them out & for taking the time to comment! xx ♥ m
Carolyn @ Pleasantest Thing says
As always, your printables are adorable!!
mamamissblog says
awww thanks Carolyn…hmmm I might just have to include a printable in my “Moms Celebrating Moms” post if you let me ;)
xx ♥ m
Robyn says
I love this & plan to make some for Seth & eventually for Ella. The printables are adorable!
mamamissblog says
Thanks Robyn!!! I think they will love them…V is still going strong, & still very interested in filling the jar up :)
Thanks for your sweet comments & for stopping by.
xx ♥ m
Ticia says
It’s such a cute idea. I did something similar to this when I was teaching.
mamamissblog says
Thanks Ticia – so glad you liked them! Thanks for stopping by too & for taking the time to comment :)
xx ♥ m
Maree says
Please notify me of posts.
mamamissblog says
Just added you to the subscription list Maree :) Thanks for following along!
xx ♥ m
Kate says
Thank you. I love this idea and shared it with my audience at Laughing Kids Learn.
mamamissblog says
Thanks Kate! I had a bunch of new followers this morning sent from you – I appreciate it & the comment & sharing love!
xx ♥ m
Momma's Fun World says
I love this, we didn’t have terrible 2’s or 3’s but man the 4’s wow.
mamamissblog says
oh no…I hope it stops at 3 for us – yikes! Thanks Catherine for the comment love & for sharing on FB too :)
xx ♥ m
Amy @ Counting My Kisses says
I LOVE this post & I can’t thank you enough! We are STRUGGLING with our 3-year-old right now~ the sticker chart isn’t quite enough for her, and we’re really trying to stick to the positive reinforcement {totally easier said than done}. I adore all of your ideas & I know they will appeal to our girly-girl 3-year-old as well! Hoping to report back in a few weeks with good news~ thanks again for sharing these ideas {and for the fab printable!} :)
mamamissblog says
YAY! So glad it can help someone else :) Yeah, we tried the sticker thing too & it just wasn’t cutting it. What helped too, I let V have a hand in picking the trinkets out at the store. And, yes, definitely report back, I’m very excited to see if it works as well for you too – can’t wait to hear! Good luck & thanks for stopping by too :)
xx ♥ m